A Christian marriage is a lifelong building project that begins on the foundation of God’s Word. single? This guide is intended to assist you in planning and working through the counseling process with your couple. Put these verses in context with chapters one and three. Proverbs is 31 chapters long. Give some reasons why you want to marry your fiancé. 19. It is important for couples to spend the necessary time planning and equipping themselves for _________________________________________________________________________________________, 5. First, the men will talk, covering chapters 12-13, while the women remain silent and listen. Keep your sessions completely private. are so many responsibilities and obligations to one another without jumping into a relationship that one may regret later. single? If you have given your approval for the wedding, these last two meetings are full of enthusiasm and anticipation. The “Why now?” question. Encouraging maturity and speaking the truth in love are your responsibilities as part of the body of Christ, and in this case, as Pre-Marriage Counselor. All parties should approach marriage prayerfully, patiently, and honestly. Marriage is one of the most important commitments a person can make. You might have to meet privately, men with men, women with women, in order for this to surface as an issue to address. This meeting will cover chapters 12-17 in “Preparing for Your Marriage.” It is the most challenging and interesting meeting you will have. _____________________________________________________. At this point, it should be noted that if you have not read the book and done the assignments with your spouse, by all means stop and do so now! It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single manin possessionof a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.” ________________________________________________________________________________________, Signature of future The decision to follow All material is intended for This insight will be very valuable as you prepare and conduct this session. ________, What are their ages? C. How long have you been dating? It would be wise if the couple started pondering through Proverbs, as outlined in chapter 19, from the start of counseling so that they don’t rush to complete chapter 14. 2013.19 2. Have you listened to cassette tapes on Christian marriage? How do other members of your family feel about your fiance? ______________________________________________________________________________, _________________________________________________________________________________________, 2. ________________________________________________________________________________________, Do you regularly attend a church? Just like your car needs a qualified mechanic, a productive counseling session is only as good as the counselor leading it. You may want to devote an entire meeting or more just to address this issue. One of the issues that often causes anxiety for couples attending counselling is the potential for therapist bias, i.e. individual use only. Are you formally engaged? Each emphasized the importance of counseling at all stages of marriage. ________________________________________________________________________________________ Listed below is a sample questionnaire. So, what ever the situation is, alwaysinvolve yourself in the counseling process. Should a husband expect or require his wife to submit to him when it would cause her to violate her convictions? E. How well do they communicate about spiritual things? By the end of this meeting, you will probably have enough information to determine if you will give your final approval for the marriage. Find out if they have selected their wedding vows and if you could read them. 4:4-7), 3. Don’t let a lack of preparation become a habit. We knew this was the case, and I was actually pretty excited about it. More and more couples are going to pre-marital counseling and pre-engagement counseling before their wedding day to prepare for marriage. Priorities on purchasing other than using credit It will be wise to work through those passages of Scripture in Section 3, Recommended Preparation Prior to Counseling. Find biblical, helpful Christian resources relating to marriage at Crosswalk.com! Verses from Ephesians 5 and Colossians 3 should be emphasized. 17. It will be worth noting if the groom has taken steps of leadership in this area. Tell the groom you are expecting leadership from him in this area and that it is now time to start demonstrating it! From him the whole body grows, fitted and held together through every supporting ligament. The Engaged Couple will soon be contacted by their Pre-Marriage Mentor to schedule Meeting One. Second, it can strengthen an already healthy relationship through skill-building exercises. B. Will there be any problems from parents and siblings in this regard? C. What are some of your personal convictions regarding tithing, Christian service or ministry, children, birth control, sexual activities/practices? B. The church will not be involved in the wedding if this question is not answered in the affirmative. Don’t assume the couple has talked about the “birds and the bees” with anyone. It is a delight to hear a couple talk about the Lord, what He has done in their life, and how He is still at work. _________, How long have you been going together? We can help you prepare for a marriage, so the two of you share many happy years together in the future. Some will be engaged for the first time; others may have been married before. Then the women will talk, covering chapters 15-17, while the men remain silent and listen. The name is derived from John 2 :1–12, the wedding feast at Cana in Galilee , where Jesus performed the miracle of turning water into wine . It is available to be checked out from the church library. _________________________________________________________________________________________. NOTE: We reserve the right to discontinue the counseling and planning process at any Some portions you may cover in a lecture format but most should be through discussion. We do not claim to be “Professional” Counselors. For many couples, this will be unnecessary, but for others, it will be quite helpful. A submissive wife as defined by Scripture. Both partners need to keep an open mind and be willing to change things that aren't working. In the first part, everyone will meet together and review the key Scriptures studied during counseling. There are several variables that need to be discussed in the Pre-Marital Counseling The second part of the meeting you will split up, men with men, women with women. This is a way to help promote a successful union and is a very wise idea considering the high divorce rate that still exists. Premarital counseling is a type of therapy that helps couples prepare for marriage. There are many possible scenarios. Signature of future D. How well do they really know each other? The couple should come to this meeting prepared to cover these chapters. Pre-Marriage Counseling And Wedding Process. A main objective in pre-marital counseling is for the counselor to assist in revealing and examining pre-conceived expectations that each partner brings into the relationship. C. Does the couple seem to have an interest in spiritual things? ________ If yes, how many? ______________________________________________________________, For how long and how often? What do you expect to receive from marriage that you cannot have staying B. ___________________________________, Do you have children from a previous marriage? With so many marriages failing today, what guarantee will you have that your Happy New Year: Past, Present, and Future Perspectives, 4. These topics may seem trivial, but knowing ahead of time what each person expects makes it easier to resolve matters. (This would be a good time to introduce the value of reading through the Bible in a year.). Although there is a lot to do in this first meeting, there are four things that must take priority. If so, how many and the counselor helps each partner examine the relationship in a more objective manner and assists the couple in learning how to perceive their interactions in a positive light The tests of love from I Corinthians 13:4-7. During your discussion about headship and submission would be a good time to discuss personal convictions. born-again Christians. Pre Marital counselling 1. ________________________________________________________________________________________, If divorced, why was your previous marriage terminated? Tell the couple that this final approval will not be given until after the third meeting. I. Much can be gleaned from these verses but place an emphasis on the following. If they do not come prepared, you may be getting an indication as to how serious they are about Pre-Marriage Counseling. 1. time, at our discretion. How long ago was the last time? ______________________________________________________________________________ Christ is of course first, but no other decision will have as great an impact on one’s life as marriage. L. Have either of you been “in love” before? That is why pre-marriage counseling must be tailored to suit each couple. Third, does the couple have parental approval? Don't chat with bridesmaids, your mother, or anyone else about the things you've discussed, and don't even think about posting anything on Facebook that could embarrass your partner. The purpose being to help them formulate goals for their marriage. Since you are postponing this requirement to the next meeting, this won’t be completed. Full article can be viewed and printed with Word or PDF formats at the links located at the Write a definition of “Love”. D. How and why did you decide that you should get married? husband                                                       You probably already know, but in case you don’t, inquire how the wedding ceremony plans are coming along. What if a husband disagrees with his wife’s convictions? _________________, How long have you been officially engaged?__ _____________, (We require that you have been dating seriously for at least eight months before we will Children may or may not be involved. With so many marriages failing, a person should not enter into a marriage lightly. This meeting will cover chapters 18-21 of “Preparing for Your Marriage.” You’re on the home stretch! If you are reluctant to give your approval, you need to communicate that to the couple. Consult with other Pre-Marriage Counselors who may have experienced this situation, and certainly seek the counsel of the Elders and Deacons of the church. To be specific, you need to find out if the couple is involved physically and to what extent. ______________________________________________________________________________, If so, please list them. List any concerns about marrying your fiance. 4. Premarital inventories are commonly used to help with the counseling process. A marriage is a commitment between two people that may have differing views on certain issues. It would probably be better not to meet if the couple is not prepared. Speaker after speaker shared their experience with statistics on the failure of marriage among Muslims. How do you know you “love” your fiancé? The number of sessions varies according to each couple's needs. After the engaged couple completes Prepare, they are ready to begin pre-marital counseling. There In addition to completing chapter 23 from the book for the next meeting, which is an overview of I Corinthians 7: 1-7, have the couple study I Thessalonians 4: 1-8 and be prepared to discuss how a sexual relationship in a Christian marriage differs from a pagan one. D. Add the preparation of a budget to the homework assignment. The majority of the critical subject matter has been covered. granted by Pastoral Care Inc. The Search OF the Savior: Why Jesus Came, Part 2 (Gal. Pre-Marital Questionnaire This questionnaire should be filled out completely and turned in to the church office. Everyday Process Counseling Center offers premarital therapy to engaged couples in and around Troy, MI. The third part of the meeting you will all get back together. The church desires and expects parental approval. A. It was mentioned earlier that it would be preferable for the couple to come unprepared for this meeting. with you and give you your Pre-Marriage Mentoring Couples Guide. Other variables that impact the amount of time marriage counseling takes to work can include: 1. ________________________________________, If you are divorced, what is your custody arrangement? 14.  Who will discipline your children and how? Thoughts and plans for emergency funds (if appliances or emergencies _____________________________________________________________________________. Biblical pre-marriage counseling begins by evaluating the engaged couple in order to tailor counseling to their specific needs. Personalized Pre-Marriage Counseling Tailored to Your Relationship. How is the wife to be a helper to her husband? _________________________________________________________________________________________. The Full Pre Marriage Counselling Course: Includes our comprehensive Pre Marriage Counselling Questionnaire that both of you complete + 2 x 50 minute counselling sessions with a relationship psychologist to discuss any issues or areas for improvement that may arise. Premarital preparation is an educational process that includes various topics and themes to effectively prepare couples for marriage. G. Why do you want to have Pre-Marriage counseling? This might be okay, but you will have missed an opportunity to gain insight into them as individuals and as a couple. A. granted by Pastoral Care Inc. Changing Services from Traditional to Contemporary, Effective Communication To Deal With Change, Funeral, Wedding, Equipment Use Checklist, Use of Building Agreement with Outside Entities, 31 Days of Prayer for the Pastor, Church, & Others, What To Do When Someone Leaves Your Church, Pornography and Narcissistic Personalities, Ecclesiastical Guidelines for Ministers Affected by Pornography, Suggested Goals for a Successful Marriage. How will you handle conflict or disagreements? There will be many passages studied in chapter 16 of “Preparing for Your Marriage.” The project pages of this chapter will play a key role. 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